


you're right there beside me

by torigates



Category: Psych
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn kind of made it a purpose in his life not to rely on other people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're right there beside me

 

 

 

  
Shawn kind of made it a purpose in his life not to rely on other people. The reasons for this were threefold: 1) Using himself as an example, Shawn knew people were flaky and didn’t follow through on things, 2) Shawn did not like to be disappointed, it was boring and lame and annoying, and 3) People were disappointing.

(The obvious exception to this rule is Gus. Shawn always, always knew that he could rely on Gus. Gus was always there for him, and never once let him down, not even after all the times that Shawn wasn’t there for him.)

Shawn could remember a time when this wasn’t the case. He used to go on stakeouts with his dad, and Henry would talk and talk about the good in people, and how anyone could make a difference, how _Shawn_ could make a difference. Shawn believed in his dad so much it hurt sometimes to think about. Shawn believed in people and the greater good, and all that other garbage.

And then, something changed.

Shawn was never sure what it was. He stopped believing in Henry, or Henry stopped believing in him, and somehow that was tantamount to Shawn’s entire belief system. Shawn has spent so much time over the years trying to puzzle it out: who gave up on who? When did it happen? _Why_ did it happen? He’d never been able to figure it out, and Shawn _always_ figured things out. He can’t ask his dad, but sometimes he wanted to.

Then Shawn met Juliet.

Shawn had never met another person who believed so much in the goodness of the world, in the goodness of other people. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how relentlessly tiring that must be, how constantly disappointing.

It made Shawn want to try harder for her. So that he, at least, would not be one of those people letting Juliet down.

It was hard and he failed a lot.

Still, Juliet still believed in him. At least most of the time. Shawn knew he did stupid stuff and let her down, and wasn’t the person she needed him to be. He wasn’t the kind of person who was good and right and kind. He wasn’t the kind of person that deserved Juliet, as much as he might want it.

Sometimes he thought he fucked it up on purpose because he was scared of what would happen if he were finally, finally good enough for her.

Still, Juliet smiled every time she saw him (even when she was angry) and Shawn thought that alone might be enough to make it work.

Years later ( _many_ years later), he did. He made it work, he got himself together enough to be good enough for Juliet, to be in a place where he’s not scared he’s going to mess things up (at least, not _too_ badly) and more importantly, he wasn’t scared of making it work.

“I knew you could do it,” Juliet said smiling through his kisses when she finally takes him home with her.

“Really?” Shawn asked, running his hands over her arms and back, not wanting to stop touching her. “I didn’t.”

She laughed. “It was touch and go there for a while,” she admitted, and Shawn tightened his arms around her, not wanting to admit how right she was.

“How do you do it?” he asked. “How do you believe in so much?”

She smiled and pulled his body against hers. “What’s the alternative?”

She’s right, he knew. He kissed her again and again.


End file.
